conversation with a child

worship-in-spirit-and-in-truth“God is good.” I told her. She was upset with God because she thought God was a tyrant who wanted to control, restrict, and punish her if she did not do well academically and performed as a human being in all aspects up to His high standards. The one thing she could not do was to obey parents without questioning whether it was right and reasonable and within her ability. The parents had projected an unfair, unjust and uncaring portrait of God because they quoted the Bible to force the child to obey without allowing her to be heard. They quoted part of the passage about respecting parents but omitted quoting the rest of the Scripture about parents not to antagonize children. The child was full of anger-rage-aggression. She rejected God because because she thought her parents were God.  Eventually she threatened to leave God and Christianity. The conflict between her parents and her and God blew out of proportion. The threats of death that came with a situation where people are without God manifested. What can we do in this crisis?

In Christian counseling there are both physical and spiritual steps to be taken as follows:

show unconditional love and acceptance to the hurting child.
show what true unselfish love means to the parents.
read God’s words and show the true meanings of God’s words.
pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide through each step.
guide the parents through a functional way of communication with the child.
practice the win-win way of conversation and discussion of matters.
show and explain what mutual interests and benefits really mean to the parents and child and walk them through the practical parts, including making lists and covenants to keep by both parties.
repeat the above steps as often as needed.
review and follow through until a healthy Biblical lifestyle is established.
all parties (including the counselor ) are to walk the talk and give honor to God and not selves.

Notes: My own conviction is all the above require a spiritual lifestyle including the counselor. Psychology alone or Bible words alone have no power to change and transform. Only the power of God that works together with His words (through which we acquire His truth and wisdom) can do it. Nothing can be more powerful and lasting than the power of the Holy Spirit. The words of God is the Sword of the Spirit. This is true and practicable in my own life. I believe that in counseling praying in the Spirit is important and essential too. I ask the parents to read the Bible and write down notes. That usually calms them down. I also ask them to pray in the Spirit. Let the Holy Spirit minister to them and reveal matters about themselves that need to be changed. This has worked. I also help the child to draw pictures using a verse or even a short psalm. It works too as the words and the picture minister to the little one.

relevant Bible verses:
Romans 1:16 [ The Just Live by Faith ] For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.
Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:19 in mighty signs and wonders, by the power of the Spirit of God, so that from Jerusalem and round about to Illyricum I have fully preached the gospel of Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:18 [ Christ the Power and Wisdom of God ] For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
1 Corinthians 1:24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
1 Corinthians 2:5 that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
1 Corinthians 4:20 For the kingdom of God is not in word but in power.
Ephesians 3:7of which I became a minister according to the gift of the grace of God given to me by the effective working of His power.

Ephesians 6:1-4 New Living Translation (NLT)
Children and Parents
6 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,[a] for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”[b]
4 Fathers,[c] do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Footnotes:
6:1 Or Children, obey your parents who belong to the Lord; some manuscripts read simply Children, obey your parents.
6:2-3 Exod 20:12; Deut 5:16.
6:4 Or Parents.

Ephesians 6:10-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
The Whole Armor of God
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[d]
Footnotes:
6:12 Some manuscripts read you.
6:15 Or For shoes, put on the readiness to preach the Good News of peace with God.
6:16 Greek the evil one.
6:18 Greek all of God’s holy people.